Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I can't share

I can't share you….
Take my life…
My beauty…
My happiness…
My Peace….
My Intelligence…
My grace….
My world…
Give me pain…
Give me cries…
Give me loneliness…
Give me hell…
Kill me with hunger and cold…
Punish me and burn me in to ashes…
but don't give your attention to any other….
I can't share you…
I can't share your fragrance…
I can't share your glance…
I can't share your attention…
You are funny but I can't share your jokes…
I don't like your name called by them….
I want to hide you from the world…
and just keep you to myself…
and if you are shared…
I will go away…
in the skies…
some far off place…
beyond the univserse..
for you, to never find me again…
I can't share …
You are mine...

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Last priority

I know who I am...
I know where I stand ..
I am the "last priority"...
The last in their to-do list..
They can meet me or not..
They can talk to me or not...
It's not important..
It's not essential...

I am meant to be met...
When all chores are done...
When the party is over...
When facebooking comes to an
End..
When they are fade up of reading...
And roaming...
Here comes the turn of a" last priority"...
I am the "last priority"

My turn comes 
When they are tired...
I am talked to, just seen And then thrown away... 
I know my place...
I know my worth...

I am none other then the "last priority"
I mean nothing nor my say...
I am useless and a dump...
Non negotiable thing...
A statue with a soul inside..
I am the last priority...

Their life will go on without me...
They just remember me
When they are bored...
When nothing's left to entertain them...
Here i come..
"The last priority "
"The last priority" ...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

"I am Sahar" - The call from her grave

Hello All!
I am Sahar…
The one you heard of, in the newspaper
three, two
Oh I forget
2 weeks ago..
So fool of me..
There is no calendar in the grave…
So meet me…
I am Sahar…
The 6 year old girl…
abducted, molested, tortured and killed…
thrown in the garbage…
I am Sahar…
Mommy's little princess…
Daddy's favourite…
My home was small…
yet cozy…
It had a garden…
and a rose plant too…
I loved roses…
They smell pretty good…
On Eid day I got dressed in my light blue outfit..
Mommy brought me Mehndi and bangles too…
She put the mehndi on my hands…
Putting all the bangles one by one…
loving and hugging me…
saying that I look so beautiful…
On Eid day,
Dad asked me to pose in front of my favourite rose plant…
He snapped my photo…
He don't know how to capture photo…
You know why?
because he clicked the shot and i dint say cheese
and looking at my lil bro…
I never knew that photo will go viral on net…
after my death..
I am Sahar…
the same you stand for….
one day I was playing outside…
They came…
The cruel strangers…
They put their hands on my mouth
to keep me silent..
I shouted…
I resisted …
calling for my mom…
I yelled for help..
I shouted for my father…
They took me away...
It was cold there…
My knees were hurt…
My small tender hands were frozen…
pushing them away but they were powerful...
Their grip was so tight…
hurting me and I was unable to move…
No one was listening to me in this big world…
I was thrown in front of wild beasts..
They were not human…
They slit my throat
and tears flew from my eyes…
I couldn't see anything….
Everything went pitch dark…
When I woke up I was in a garbage tub…
my tears..
The blood from my throat were dried up…
My injured knees and slaughtered neck were not hurting…
I was light yet frightened…
Looking my way to home…
when they found me…
It was police and my parents…
a crowd wanting to know what happened?
They were all saying" She is dead."
Were they talking about me?
No I am not dead…
They have found me and now I will go to mommy…
I will eat the delicious food she cooked..
and will sleep in her lap..
I will complain to my dad what they have done to me?
I am not dead..
But they are right..
They just buried me ...
six feet below the ground..
I can hear my parent's crying…
I can sense my brother's loneliness…
Yes, I am sahar…
The one lying in the cold graveyard..
in the chilling weather…
all alone…
seen her Eid Photo in the newspaper…
It was a good photo…
I am asking the question" What was my crime?"
I am finding myself ignorant of my sins…
I am Sahar..
Get me Justice…
Answer my question…
I am sahar…
Believing that I am dead now…
Sahar and her favourite Rose plant.








































Sunday, October 26, 2014

The dead flower of Love

Feeling Nothing…
Nothing at all…
I am blank and so broken…
holding the pieces of my heart…
I wonder what will I do with them?
I feel suffocated…
A story…
Thousands of words…
those emotions and 
all my resentments are untold…
My heart filled with love 
is now occupied…
occupied with pain and fear…
I know fear and love 
can't live together…
There was a flower in my heart…
The beautiful flower of love…
It blossomed day by day…
Its fragrance was enchanting…
I saw that flower drying up..
I saw the fading of its colours…
I saw it dying bit by bit
and day by day...
and one day it dried forever…
A pain resides deep in to my soul…
Mourning the death of the flower of Love...
I can feel nothing now..
the heart is beating 
but its lifeless for sure…
I am smiling for the world…
but deep inside..
my heart, my soul and my existence
are dissolved in silence…
They are mummified…
They are feeling nothing…
The constant pain resides forever…
in each breath…each heart beat

Friday, October 3, 2014

Trapped

It seems like 
I am trapped…
among four walls…
among people who don't understand me…
I feel like alien…
Alien with strange thoughts
and I feel very suffocated..
I feel my heart clinched…
I remember the old days…
when I was free…
surrounded by friends and loved ones….
the days were joyful…
the nights were peaceful…
being loved and cherished….
I was happy…
Now I am injured…
like a injured bird…
very thirsty and hungry…
A bird trying to fly..
but  can't …
Her wings are broken
and her urge is cut down….
I see all the roads block…
no where to go…
no one to meet…
empty rooms and buildings….
The leaves are blowing with wind…
they are dry and below my feet….
asking for death…
I see some people…
they are deaf and blind towards me…
I can speak to them…
but they are not hearing me….
my heart bleeds and its dying…
I am all alone in this big world…
no way to escape…
no place to hide…
I am bird trapped in a cage….
seeing strangers…
Trapped away I am….
Missing my Nest…
Don't know where it is….
Don't know where it is…

Monday, September 22, 2014

Like they have never knew me

I am scared...
I want to scream 
but can't…
I want to cry but can't….
I want to go away but can't …
My heart is grasped …
it feels like its held in jar..
the air tight one …
I am cornered…
my hair locks are waving in the air…
They ask me " Are they free to wave?"
"Are they free to meet the air?"..
I look at them having no answer…
my existence is caught in a well..
I am horrified…
My heart is beating
but not living….
I feel lost and scattered…
broken away in pieces…
I forgot to smile…
My lips are ignorant to them now…
I can feel my breath..
they come to me in intervals…
There is a heavy thing on my chest..
I can't lift it anymore…
When I pass among graves…
I am attracted to them…
I praise the peace the dead have…
how peaceful they are Saima!
They have no heart to break…
They have nothing to expect…
lets die…
I am scared…
Lets die..
I am done…
Lets die…
Let them miss us
who took us for granted..
I am trying and trying
to hide …
my smiles becomes transparent 
they can't hide me anymore…
I am sacred…
They will see and then throw me away…
like they have never knew me…
like they have never knew me...

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Love is a drug...

Love is a drug..
indeed a dangerous one with no cure…
Love is addictive ..
It flows in your blood…
every breath scented with its fragrance…
Love is sacrifice…
Love is toxic…
Love gives life 
and snatches it too..
Love is non curable…
Love is addiction…
It makes you so desperate…
wanting to see the sight of your beloved..
to hear their voice, to see them smile and 
Talk..
again and again and thousand times…
Love brings those tears in your eyes..
when they take his name…
Love makes you keen and curious 
to know him more and more…
about their days and nights...
Love makes you tender…
It swallows the pride and the ego..
and you loss for them..
to make them happy and content…
Love gives strength but its a weakness too…
This Love lives in my heart….
deep and so deep inside..
fasten to strings of my existence….
I bear, I crawl, I sleep, I cry, I miss
I laugh and I love..
I LOVE HIM and forever...