When I see my life I see a lot of transformations. Actually its full of transformations. Today when I look back I see different versions of me. Me an occasional writer, Me as performer, Me as a team leader, Me as a follower, Me as a facilitator, Me as a well groomed daughter, Me as a focused learning house wife, Me as a helper, a motivator, a non stop speaker having a deadly silence. Me as a lover dedicating all my hours to love my soul mate. If I am asked what's the most amazing job in this world? I shall answer its discovering yourself. A single human being, every human being is a universe in itself. If you have enough time you can discover yourself. You can listen to your heart. Analyse your instincts, likes, dislikes, your true self, your disappointments, your pleasures, the pain and the courage which comes from within you.
When I see at myself, some times I doubt there lives someone else too in me. I fight with her. Often we agree and mostly we differ. It a kind of battle, like a battle of what the world wants? and what I want?. The " I want" me is very cruel. She knows no boundaries, only the goal to achieve, her pleasures, her desires, her arrogance, her will. The " world one" me is very kind. She compromises. She sacrifices. She is submissive. She wants to please everyone except herself. The fight continues. It also happened that they both became friends and thought in a same way. It also happened that I had a tough time in realising that a transformation is must,to go on. This world urges ones to change.
Some transformations come naturally and some of them are asked for. We change and change and change till our last breath.
I often question myself, Am I the same girl who was born crying? an infant? I question myself Am I the same girl? the school star? I google myself and ask Am I the same girl the disciplined prefect of a college? I search myself for the answer that Am I the same girl who was leading a team?
Am I the same girl before I met the love of my life?
Often I get the answers. Random Yes and No's but the ultimate answer is NO because you can't be the same for all your life. This world changes you, its people changes you. Many incidents and experiences changes you. We transform, all of us transforms. Like after I got married I met a complete different "me". This version of me is more responsible, flexible, reliable and understanding.
So the question is What we should we do to preserve ourselves, the real ourselves beside changes? I think that we should adapt to changes of time since they are unavoidable but in the meanwhile one should stick to his identity and core values. I should never forget who was I? I should never forget the real "me"? The one who constantly raise his opinion whenever we are changing. Some scholar said that the constant thing in this world is "change" itself. So you can preserve the real" You" by adapting to good changes like leaving the bad habits and adapting the success leading ones. Where you go and what ever has been done to you, it should not effect ones natural thinking. The best example of worst change is when a man is killed by cops mistakenly and the murdered man's son becomes a goon to revenge the death of his father. Here a tragic event turned an innocent boy in to a criminal.
To preserve the real "you", change positively but the changes should not snatch away the innocence once you had as a child. I often say never let the child inside you die. He is your charm. I still like getting wet in the August rain. What would you like to do as an innocent child?
I have seen people who have changed a lot in the name of adapting to the worldly needs. They have changed that now they can't be recognised. I don't know why ? but I feel pity for them. I see them as travellers who have lost the traces of their destination and they dress like any convoy who passes beside them.
I wish none of us could loss our "real" selves. I wish none of us loss our innocence, our naughtiness, our self talk, our voice, our memories.
I wish we can transform for better and even best life.
What transformed in you? Do you remember all your transformations? Do you remember the "real" you?
